Irony

   

Either California or New Yark

I  can't improve on this.

 Steven Wright said:

1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't
expect it back.

3 - Half the people you know are below average.

4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other
parts feel so good.

7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad
memory.

8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with
the rain.

9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my
hand.

10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second
mouse gets the cheese.

11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend,...But she
left me before we met.

12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?

13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
something.

15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16 - When everything is coming your way, you're
in the wrong lane.

17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough
sense to be lazy.

18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays
off now.

19 - I intend to live forever... So far, so good.

20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy
her friends?

21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked
into jet engines.

22 - What happens if you get scared half to death
twice?

23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your
brakes, so I made your horn louder."

24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name.

25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence
that you tried.

26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

27 - Experience is something you don't get until just
after you need it.

28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the
bread.

29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism;
to steal from many is research.

30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is
no lifeguard.

31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll
have to catch up.

32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your
body is required to be on it.

33 - Everyone has a photographic memory;
some just don't have film.

34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not
for you.

And the all-time favorite

35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light,
would your headlights work?

There once was a boy that played with airplanes.

High Flight

USAF Pilot Training

Class 67-F

Craig AFB, Alabama

Experience tells you.....

Experience tells you..

My standard briefing to a new husband is the following:
Each and every morning when you wake up, kiss your wife and
say I'm Sorry.

Why!

Yours is not to know why.... SHE DOES

THIS
IS NOT THE SAME FOR MEN AND WOMEN.

When your wife has a baby, particular if they let you watch
(only ever do this but once)...

Somewhere in this sterile delivery room, there comes a time when you and the Doctor are saying
"Push, Push, Push.... then it gets to Push it out, Push it out.. and then because its football season:
"Push um back Push um back...waaaay back"

About then as time begins to stop and you and the Dr can see the LSU Tigers running on the field,

SHE

Stands up in the stirrups, inside this green tent they call a gown, a red glow in her eyes... and points this boney finger straight at you and sez
"You did this to Me"
 Later
She tells you it feels like taking your lower lip in your hand and pulling it over the top of your head...

Four Years Later

"Don't you think its time for us to have a sister/brother for little Billy??"

 WELL

For a man, getting hit in the balls hurts.

But never

Does he say in four years

"Hit me in the balls again"

so it must be different, Thinks I

Jesse Monroe Knowles (a HERO)

Some Friends you hold in 

high regard, some friends are ... friends

And some friends are Hero's.

I would like to speak to you of one such HERO friend. Jessie Monroe Knowles (1919-2006).

Born on July 3, 1919, Jesse Knowles passed away on April 23, 2006. A survivor of the Bataan Death March, he was imprisoned in a number of POW Camps for 1,228 days, and was liberated from a camp in Mukden, Manchuria on August 15, 1945. He went on to serve as Louisianna State Senator from 1964 to 1980.

 http://www.iwvpa.net/knowlesj/

He endured the unendurable, he survived the unsurvivable, he saw the worst of mans worst enemy, Man.

Amongst other things, Jesse was president of the Mayors Armed Forces Committee, Lake Charles, LA. And I was a member. I have listened to many a remembrance of those times. Jesse was not like most of us, and would rather not talk about it. He did... but only to those he thought worthy. I'm proud to be in that number.

  

Jesse was a friend of mine

 Jesse was sitting next to my wife when I received this award

from the Coast Guard.

Why I want to be a Pilot

Why I want to be a Pilot

The following essay, now a classic, was written by an 11-year old schoolboy after an Air Force pilot visited the boy's classroom and made a talk about Air Force careers and flying:

WHY I WANT TO BE A PILOT

   When I grow up I want to be a pilot because it's a fun job and easy to do. 

  That's why there are so many pilots flying around these days. Pilots don't need much school; they just have to learn to read numbers so they can read instruments. I guess they should be able to read road maps too, so that they can find there way home if they get lost.
  
Pilots should be brave so they won't get scared if it's foggy and they can't see, or if a wing or motor falls off, they should stay calm so they'll know what to do.

Pilots have to have good eyes to see through clouds and they can't be afraid of lightning or thunder because they are much closer to them than we are.

The money pilots make is another thing I like. They make more money than they know what to do with. This is because most people think that plane flying is dangerous, except pilots don't because they know how easy it is.

I hope I don't get airsick because I get carsick and if I get airsick, I couldn't be a pilot and then I would have to go to work.

Tell me bout the good ole Days - Remember when

The good ole days, ah, don't you remember..... Supper was always on the table at 6 PM, Sunday was rice and gravy, rump roast, cheese balls, Wilted Lettuce salad, cornbread and that's just the eats.

Remember when Grandma Watson would wring a chickens neck with a quick flick of the wrist.

Reunions were still on Big Creek, usually at Beverly's camp, now its at Edwins camp right up the creek. Big Creek is still little and still clear water. Some things change real slow, and thats good.

Red Wagons were name'd "Radio Flyer", dogs were named Pat and Mike. A BB gun was what you got at 10 years old. "shoot your eye out".... Red Rider lever action just like in "A Christmas Story".

The grammar school was next to the post office and that was across the street from the Fire station and Mayors office. The Star theater. Where we all went for the Saturday movies. The serial where, at the end of last weeks episode, the star was in a real tight situation and surely died. But..... didn't. Seems like they left out a 2 second clip where Roy, Gene, Tex, Johnny Mac, Rex, Alan Rocky, Smiley got out at the last second. Whew.... had me scared all week.

Grandma held court on the front screened porch shelling peas and telling stories.

Aunt Erin taught 5th grade. If you happened in her class you were in for a rough year. I think we have two family that suffered that.

Saturday at the Movies: We had our own special seats, third row from the front, first three seats. Mama and Daddy sat in the back where adults sat.  In fact, Daddy's appendix ruptured while in there.  We had to sit in the movie at night until someone, either Erin or Sugar came and got us to go spend the night.

Gas was 19 cents a gallon, coal oil was a nickle and you could rent a fishing boat for a quarter. Cars were all GM, Ford, Chrysler with an occasional Nash, Hudson or Lasalle thrown in.

The sound the tires of the car made driving over the Jackson Street bridge? Rrrrrrrrrrr thump rrrrrrrrrrr thump rrrrrrrrr. In the late 40’s, I think it was, when the water was nearly as high as the bottom of the bridge. And don’t ya’ll remember the year it snowed so much .. late 40’s again.

Kids could walk home from school without fear of someone doing something bad. 

Kids went out to play in the summertime morning and came back for supper...jus don't be late. And, without being obvious, kids actually played outside the house.


Howdy Doody and Buffalo Bob

A Road Less Traveled

We have all heard versions of this poem. Most call it something about

 A Road Less Traveled

As you look back on the roads (choices) you made, there is always more than one option. Not necessarily Left or Right in nature.  And I find it true that once a path is chosen, for whatever reason, don't expect to be able to reverse course and take the other road. Somehow its either not there or Closed. A window of opportunity as it were. Go thru when the window is open because it will close when you are not expecting it. 

Remember,  He Who Hesitates is Lost,  or some other saying.
How do you choose which road? There is no real answer, only ideas to consider. If you are a analytical person, use those skills: If you are a artsie craftsie person, your view is not what you see but what it can be made to be: Ahhhh.... then there is the dreamer, perhaps you do not see what I see there or what it can be decorated to become. You see something else, a vision that I can not even imagine. These result in the most interesting travels of all. They are what stories, poems, songs are made from. Venture forth if you dare, but have a seat belt on.

You think, Yep, that's what he wishes he had done.... but that would be wrong. I'm analytical by nature, so that's what I see. Add up the data, divide it into its parts, analyze what it seems to mean. Work the data. (Now that don't mean it takes a long time to do that.... same as it don't take long to inspect a hot horse shoe)... and after all that is done. 

Listen to the Little Voice Inside

The sad part is that although boring at the time, students don't seem to get to learn some of the things that are the source of many "statements of truth" that we all use. Most of us over 40 have a personal idea of what it really means. In each life its different. This poem is best appreciated after you have taken a few roads.

The Road Not Taken

------------------------------------

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference. 

Robert Frost 1916

Flying sayings

Some things Pilots say.

• The three most useless thing a pilot can have.
  
• Altitude above you
• Runway behind you
• Fuel you left in the truck.
  
• When in trouble
  
• Climb - gain altitude
• Conserve - Fuel
• Confess - Get on the radio and tell everyone "I'm Lost"
  
• You can't pray on a lie. (Huck Finn)

"For a prayer to be heard, your heart must be right with God. To pray on a lie would be to pray when your heart is elsewhere, or when you pray for something that is a lie.

Actually, I suppose you could pray on a lie, but it wouldn't go any higher than the ceiling." (Plagiarized from a lady named Barbara V.)

• It is almost universal, the last words uttered from a pilot before the crash is
  
  

  OH! Sh*t

  This comes from a taught or acquired belief that, as a Pilot, you are capable of correcting any and all malfunctions of man or metal to bring the cursed craft to earth safely.

  When it is discovered that this is wrong, you are so close to eternity that you can only utter two words.

  Why these two have been chosen, is unknown.

  But we all know to do it.

Bravery is.....

Bravery is ???

What is being BRAVE.?

“Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway

 Of all the terms defining "Bravery", none is quiet good enough. 

Bravery, to me, is looking death in the face and saying " I can do this". And yes, she did. I'm amazed, If I can be so..... brave in my time.

 

I'm NoT Normal!

I've recently been told "You're not normal". Before I thought I was insulted, I realized he was right. According to HIM and HIS, I'm not conforming, do not accept their standards and am not a group'e. In appearance, achievement, function, development and especially, etc.

I'm not Normal.... and I'm proud of it.

Peggy was not Normal either.

so there.

1. conforming with or constituting an accepted standard, model, or pattern; esp., corresponding to the median or average of a large group in type, appearance, achievement, function, development, etc.; natural; usual; standard; regular.

2. the usual state, amount, degree, etc.; esp., the median or average

Bach - a fellow aviator

 

What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly.

 

Richard Bach 

 

 

Garden Party

Went to a garden party visit my old friends, chance to share old memories.....

Well, its alright now...learned my lesson well.
See you can't please everyone

so you gotta please yourself.

And She did

Peggy Landrum Russell 

28 March 2003

About getting Old

Now is the time, my friend when youth is just a dream of yesteryear. 

Today is here. 

Be wiser

Be not in fear

For your memory is

Meet the Fockers (2004), (2010) and now 2011 - A comedy

All hell breaks loose when the Zambonies family meets the Focker family for the first time. As time went on, hell was being thought of as a nice place.


It was a dark and stormy knight. Off in the distance Grannie Focker could be herd cursing the night, day and the lack of a forest to sell. Whoa is me, the *^$%*ards, won't give it back. Perhaps I must yell and curse louder, she thinks. Feeling frustrated she throws shoes at the John.

BTW - this story has a cast of 10's perhaps 15's. Supporting casts and walk-on's are to numerous to mention. Credits should be given, but won't.


We pick up the story at episode 7 after many exciting, and memorable scenes.

Grannie Focker is on a bender, in the past episod'e, you will remember she was akosted by a flock of deputies while guarding the gate at her favorite watering hole.  She tole them it was her hole but they didn't seem to believe her. Damn, don't they know royalty when they see it. But then, perhaps she was not showing enough of it. Its hard to tell these days as to how much to show off. Course you get no respect when you are a Focker. Shazam, thinks Grannie.

I can brow beat my youngan into giving me my water hole back. Those were the days, thinks I. My hole was not sewed up. Butt, A-LAss.... tis. We would romp the hills and valleys of the vast.... or half vast woodlands of our forefathers. or were they mothers? Where have all the men gone, anyway.

Some seem to have stayed with the fockers only a short while and moved someplace else. Grannie would say, "them fockers were just not of our class". But, it seems, class was let out early.

 Thus closed chapter 7 of the "meat the folkers" series. Tomorrow is another era.

Coming soon, hear grannie say " Them folkers are a wiley bunch, now where are any of them when the plumbing is bust. Hell, kud it bee I run um off??? Don't they know the Boy Scouts,,nah, the Socker Moms..... no that ain't it either... its a boys club though, the Mormans, the Nights of the something. They vowed to take care of me. ... Wheres my John???

What the Narsissist really means when she sez

 Narcissistic Mother-English Dictionary

http://daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/narcissistic-mother-dictionary.html

This is the result of a bit of fun we had on our forum. But it's all very real under the humor. It's all classic gaslighting and invalidation.

WHAT SHE SAYS	WHAT IT MEANS
I love you.	I want to manipulate you. You're showing signs of breaking away and I want to suck you back in. I've heard people say this and it seems to get a good reaction. I command you to love me.
Don't ever feel like you HAVE to come see me for my birthday	If you don't make the 650 mile pilgrimage to celebrate me, I promise I will do something to make you pay dearly.
Go do something constructive.	Be gone, I have no interest in my own children.
You were an "accident".	You are only here because homicide would get me jail time, and I thought you'd be a better slave, so I didn't opt for adoption.
You go have yourself a good cry!	I resent your emotions, but at least I can use them to hurt you.
I never said that!	Damned if I'm going to admit it. Yes I said that but it doesn't work in the conversation right now. I know I said it but it’s so much fun to f*** with your head until you don’t know what is true and you think you really are crazy! Yeah me!!!
It's been a long time since I talked to you and just called to see how you were doing.	I am running low on my Narcissistic Supply and need another fix.
I have no idea what you're talking about!	Damned if I'm going to admit to it.
You just aren't remembering correctly.	My version of events shows me in a better light, so that's the official one.
You never do anything for me!	I know you've done a lot for me in the past, but that was then and it no longer counts. What have you done for me today?
It's time this stops.	None of my ploys have worked to pull you back so now I will treat you like a child.
I miss you.	I miss having control over you. I'm lacking my Narcissistic Supply - please provide it pronto.
Who have you been talking to, in therapy with, what book did you read, etc, etc, etc....	I'm not getting the usual emotional response from you and you are too dim-witted to have figured out how to shut me down on your own.
Your brother and sister-in-law took us out to dinner last night. We had such a nice time - I don't think we have ever been treated that well.	You had better step up your game and show some appreciation for all I've done for you.
I'm so proud of you.	You have made me feel good and/or *I* feel good because of you. I can take credit for that accomplishment.
Why are you wasting your time on something so silly and that takes you away from your family?	Why are you wasting your time on something so silly and that takes you away from me?
Your father and I think ...	I think ...
So how are you?	I'd better ask, but don't worry I won't really be listening. Or as soon as you say a trigger word, which reminds me of something else, I'll interrupt and be off again! I'm running out of things to boast to my friends about, so please come up with some accomplishments.
I'm so sorry your beloved 14-year old dog died.	Sigh ... I'd better at least mention it and then I can talk about myself again.
It's so sad!	It's so exciting! I love being this close to tragedies! The drama!
I'm sorry.	I will say the words but never change my behavior. I'll say anything to shut you up, but don't worry, I don't mean it.
I'm thinking of you.	I will continue to ignore your boundaries.
Let’s just let go of the past.	Let’s pretend everything is ok and I’m not a nightmare of a mother so I can continue to torture you and get my Narcissistic Supply.
Your sister-in-law is such a great cook! Simply amazing!	I want to take away any pleasure or pride you have in your own cooking skills.
I just want you to love me.	All I really want is for you give me my Narcissistic Supply.
What’s wrong with you today? What is your problem?	I’m pissed that you are denying me my much needed Narcissistic Supply. Damn you!
I was only trying to help!	I demand the freedom to interfere in your life any time I want. That is my right!
What happened to the nice girl I once knew?	Why are you no longer the easily manipulated and uncomplaining-of-abuse girl I raised you to be?
After all I’ve done for you! You’ve never appreciated me!” wah wah wah	I have violated your boundaries most of your life and I resent the hell out of your standing your ground and refusing to allow me to interfere, manipulate and control you.
Why are you treating me so badly? What have I done wrong?	I have the right to interfere in your life and abuse you without any consequences.
Because I’m the Mama!	You are really just a child, after all. I’ll never acknowledge that you are now an adult.
I want to give you this or that because I love you.	It’s really because you will then be beholden to me and this gives me great leverage to milk you for Narcissistic Supply.
I want to help you with your kids.	I plan to interfere in the upbringing of your children by spoiling them, disciplining them differently to your way, and ignoring your decisions and wishes regarding them. I will not acknowledge your position and rights as the mother of these children.
You were very difficult to raise. You were always my problem child.	You resisted my attempts to violate your boundaries, abuse you and humiliate you.
I never want to be a burden to you.	I will over-run your life and suck the life force from you and your children.
Have you lost some weight?	I am so glad that I brought that sticky bun with me on this visit.
You take me the wrong way.	I will invalidate your feelings as I have done your whole life.
You're such a good cook.	You got that from me!
You're such a good mother.	You got that from me!
You don't respect me!	You won't let me abuse you!
I have to walk on eggshells around you. You're over-sensitive.	You won't take my abuse uncomplainingly.
You won't forgive me!	You won't allow me to trample all over you even though I have expressed no repentance and will continue to act exactly as I always have.
You need more time to think about it. Well have a think about it and get back to me.	I am not accepting your decision/opinion.
I was just joking even if I did say and do that, which I didn't.	I did say/do it, and I did mean it, but damned if I'm going to acknowledge that.
You just won't admit when you're wrong.	You defended yourself from my lies!
Medical emergency	Broken finger nail
Disaster	Phone bill arrives
Major Disaster	Visitor cancelled

More damn rules

I have the right

This was sent to Peggy recently and I've extracted some of the things that struck me. Credit goes to "Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers". To whom I give thanks.

I have published in this blog "House Rules" which I modify anytime an event happens that makes me think of it or someone reminds me of good rules they learned the hard way.

Nobody is allowed to just drop around to my house without phoning first. 

Nobody is allowed to let themselves into my house. 

Once in my house, nobody is allowed to root in the cupboards. 

Nobody is allowed to comment adversely on my weight/appearance/state of my house. 

I have the right to say, "I'll think about it and get back to you," rather than being pressured into things. 

I have the right to change my mind. 

I have the right to say 'No' without further explanation. 

I have the right not to answer the phone if it does not suit me. 

I have the right to refuse to answer personal questions. 

I have the right to put limits on visits: "You may call between 2.00 and 4.00".

House Rules

Every house/home needs a basic set of rules for those that live there or visit. Use to be that those were established in the bring up, but sometimes it wern't. Then again, sometimes a little reminder is good to review.

• Visitors, inlaws and outlaws are welcome to this farm --- Just call first.
• Don't send your friends or relatives to look at our house without prior coordination. We are not an unadvertised attraction, don't give tours to passers by's...Its just our home.
• If you talk to a telemarketer, don't refer him/her/or it to us. We are on the state and national No Call List cause we don't want to talk to them.
• Don't send your Forrester out here ever.
• Do take a shower before 7pm as we go to bed early and don't like to be disturbed just because thats the way you do at your house.
• Do keep the TVs low after 8pm. This is a home, not a theater.
• The bed I sleep in may be the same one you spent long nighttime hours discussing things girls talk about when they are growing up. You are grown and I want to go to sleep. Get over it.
• The 4-wheeler is parked in a particular place for a reason. If you can't put it back where you got it from, you deserve to be told to move it back. Get your feeling on a stem if you want to. I'm OK with that.
• The "CAMP" is no longer the playhouse of yesteryear. Someone lives there.
• The recliner is pretty much "MY" seat. Please use the others when I'm home.
• Charlies dead
• We are not a bank & we don't lend money either.
• If you bring your next potential husband out here to see what U are gonna get someday, it may not work out.
• Don't haul one of the TV's in the main house to the Bunk House. If you break it, you bought it. If we wanted it there, we would have put it there.
• We live in the country, snakes live in the country...sometimes we meet.
• And that oldie but a goodie,
  
  In polite company its best not to talk about Religion, Politics, Sex and Money.
  

Traits of a Milignant Narcissist that apply

Of the 20 (twenty) traits of a Malignant Narcissist, here is a pull-set that applies to this family.

1. THE PATHOLOGICAL LIAR is skillfully deceptive and very convincing. Avoids accountability by diverting topics, dodging questions, and making up new lies, bluffs or threats when questioned. Her memory is self serving as she denies past statements. Constant chaos and diverting from reality is their chosen environment.
Defense Strategy: Verify her words. Do not reveal anything about yourself - she'll use it against you. Head for the door when things don't add up. Don't ask her questions - you'll only be inviting more lies.

Example: In progress

 2. THE CONTRACT BREAKER agrees to anything then turns around and does the opposite. Marriage, Legal, Custody agreements, normal social/personal protocol are meaningless. This con artist will accuse you of being the contract breaker. Enjoys orchestrating legal action and playing the role of the 'poor me' victim.
Defense Strategy: Expect her to disregard any agreement. Have Plan B in place. Protect yourself financially and emotionally.

Example: Trade the land and trees, then try and sell the trees to keep your gigglo.


 7. THE CONTROLLER/MANIPULATOR pits people against each other. Keeps his allies and targets separated. Is verbally skillful at twisting words and actions. Is charismatic and usually gets his way. Often undermines our support network and discourages us from seeing our family and friends. Money is often his objective. Other people's money is even better. He is ruthless, demanding and cruel. This control-freak bully wants you pregnant, isolated and financially dependent on him. Appears pitiful, confused and in need of help. We rush in to help him with our finances, assets, and talents. We may be used as his proxy interacting with others on his behalf as he sets us up to take the fall or enjoys the performance he is directing.
Defense Strategy: Know the 'nature of the beast'. Facing his failure and consequences will be his best lesson. Be suspicious of his motives, and avoid involvement. Don't bail him out.

Example: If you don't own the property, you can't give it away to the numb nuts thats trying to get it. Come on John........

 17. THE EMOTIONAL VACUUM is the cruelest blow of all. We learn his lack of empathy. He has deceived us by his cunning ability to mimic human emotions. We are left numbed by the realization. It is incomprehensible and painful. We now remember times we saw his cold vacant eyes and when he showed odd reactions. Those closest to him become objectified and expendable.
Defense Strategy: Face the reality. They can deceive trained professionals.

Example:

 11. THE SADIST is now the fully unmasked malignant narcissist. His objective is watching us dangle as he inflicts emotional, financial, physical and verbal cruelty. His enjoyment is all too obvious. He'll be back for more. His pleasure is in getting away with taking other people's assets. His target: women, children, the elderly, anyone vulnerable.
Defense Strategy: Accept the Jekyll/Hyde reality. Make a "No Contact' rule. Avoid him altogether. End any avenue of vulnerability. Don't allow thoughts of his past 'good guy' image to lessen the reality of his disorder. 

Isolate the problem, distance yourself with each passing day. Know your enemy as well as yourself. Show no empathy or sympathy. sad, it is.

Why I cary a gun

I don't carry a gun to kill people.
I carry a gun to keep from being killed.

I don't carry a gun to scare people.
I carry a gun because sometimes this world can be a scary place.

I don't carry a gun because I'm paranoid.
I carry a gun because there are real threats in the world.

I don't carry a gun because I'm evil.
I carry a gun because I have lived long enough to see the evil in the world.

I don't carry a gun because I hate the government.
I carry a gun because I understand the limitations of government.

I don't carry a gun because I'm angry.
I carry a gun so that I don't have to spend the rest of my life hating myself for failing to be prepared.

I don't carry a gun because I want to shoot someone.
I carry a gun because I want to die at a ripe old age in my bed, and not on a sidewalk somewhere tomorrow afternoon.

I don't carry a gun because I'm a cowboy.
I carry a gun because, when I die and go to heaven, I want to be a cowboy.

I don't carry a gun to make me feel like a man.
I carry a gun because men know how to take care of themselves and the ones they love.

I don't carry a gun because I just 'feel' inadequate.
I carry a gun because unarmed and facing three armed thugs, I am inadequate...

I don't carry a gun because I love it.
I carry a gun because I love life and the people who make it meaningful to me.

Police protection is an oxymoron. Free citizens must protect themselves.

Police do not protect you from crime, they usually just investigate the crime after it happens and then call someone in to clean up the mess.

Personally, I carry a gun because I'm too young to die and too old to take
an "ass" whoopin'.....author unknown (but obviously brilliant) **********************************************