Hoover is more than a vaccuum cleaner.

The Narcissist's Hoover Maneuver

April 7, 2011 - 10:39am — By Lisa Scott (modified from him to her).

Narcissists cannot be alone. Narcissists need people more than anyone. They have very specific reasons for being in relationships, but they are not built on the universal need we all have, which is to love.


Narcissists do not enter or stay in relationships for love. Their motives are quite different. They become involved in relationships in order to ensure their needs are met and someone is always present to provide them with the attention and adoration they require in order to feel alive.


It is important to understand when ending a relationship with a Narcissist, she will inevitably come back to you looking for validation. Whether you end the relationship or she does, you will most likely hear from your Narcissist again. It may take a day, a month or years, but be prepared for her return.

The only time a Narcissist finally leaves you alone is when she knows you have seen right through her and have exposed her for who she really is. If this has not happened yet and she believes he still has some kind of hold on you, she will return to you
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Narcissists feed off of attention. Adoration from others is what fuels them. It is like a drug to them and they are addicted to it. If a Narcissist can't get supply from anyone else, she will come back to us looking for it. They have no shame. Therefore, we must be prepared that at any moment, our Ex Narcissist will re-enter our life to try to win us back. When she does, he will employ a tactic known as the Hoover Maneuver.

According to the on-line Urban Dictionary, the definition of Hoovering is:
“Being manipulated back into a relationship with threats of suicide, self-harm, or threats of false criminal accusations. Relationship manipulation often associated with individuals suffering from personality disorders like Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder.”
It is important to be mindful of this tactic so you can recognize it and not get sucked-in. The term Hoovering gets its name from the Hoover vacuum. The Narcissist uses all kinds of manipulative behavior to suck you back in to the relationship. She may threaten suicide saying that he can’t live without you. She purposefully plays on your good-naturedness to get you to feel sorry for her.

Narcissists are very charming so the initial Hoovering stage is often quite successful. They are great actors. Not to mention, the Narcissist knows you well enough to know which buttons to push to get you to succumb.

Please know that the minute you take her back, she will revert to her old behavior. She is only coming back to you because she is incapable of being alone. She needs someone in her life to validate her at all times.

This happens over and over again. They can't be treated because they will never admit something is wrong with them "Something is wrong with YoU".

Such is life. We are not alone in this. Many, many daughters are suffering the same thing. Be aware, open your eyes and mind, evil is where you least expect it.